Daughter refuses to split the bill on Mother's Day when older sister puts her on the spot to pay for two families: "My sister has a six figure income, and I have a way lower income"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
May 11, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Mothers go through and give up so much in order to make sure that they are raising their kids to be functional adults. It's really not as easy task, and it is a lifelong commitment. Moms really deserve more praise day-to-day for the work that they do. However, in the current societal landscape, the best we can do is to dedicate a single annual holiday towards them. So, you better make sure to take advantage of the day and show appreciation for the moms in your life on this day. Get them flowers, tick some errands off of their to-do list, and pay for their lunch.
In our story today, a woman tries to get her sister on board to help pay for Mother's Day lunch. This would have been well and dandy if they were just paying for mom and grandma's meal, but there were plenty of non-mother family members present, and our protagonist doesn't have a six figure job like her sister.

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  • 01

    AITA for not agreeing to split the bill for a Mother's day dinner?

    Cheezburger Image 10504164096
    via ImagesbyTrista

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My mother texted my oldest sister and I that we will be going to a restaurant on Friday (yesterday). I agreed and made sure to free up my evening.
    via u/Alternative-Emu-5955
  • 03
    Come Friday, we were 11 persons (2 families) at the table, including my grandma, aunt, uncle and cousins. Near the end of the dinner, my sister stood up and went away somewhere. When she came back, she had a receipt in her hand, so my mom
    via u/Alternative-Emu-5955
  • 04
    asked if that's the bill she was holding. My sister announced that she went to pay and that me and her were treating the table today for Mother's day. I was shocked because we never discussed that. She handed me the bill and asked me to e-transfer her half of the total ($350/2 = $175).
    via u/Alternative-Emu-5955
  • 05
    FEELER
    via Launa Freitas from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    Back in our place, I told my sister that I couldn't afford that with all the bills and that I did not agreed to split the bill beforehand. She then proceeded to say that I'm ungrateful for our mom and that as the older children in the group, we need to foot the bill.
    via u/Alternative-Emu-5955
  • 07
    For more context, since the end of last year, I no longer live with my parents. I am in my 20s and currently live with my oldest sister, mainly because she wanted to move out and couldn't afford paying the mortgage/bills by herself, so my parents made
    via u/Alternative-Emu-5955
  • 08
    me move out with her. (At the time, i didn't realize how expensive that will be.) My sister has now a 6- figure job and I have a waaay lower income, and basically living paycheque by paycheque. That is no excuse for me not to pay, but wanted to point out our different financial realities.
    via u/Alternative-Emu-5955

  • The worst part is that her sister cornered her and put her on the spot by announcing it like that. Even if our protagonist was all for splitting the bill like that, it's definitely something that should be discussed privately beforehand.

  • 09
    Hoppy Mothers Day
    via baseimages

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    Gemzanity NTA and don't pay it. This wasn't something you agreed too so therefore you shouldn't have to pay that much. It's not that you don't appreciate your mum you just simply cannot afford that much at the moment. I would be livid if one of my children tried to do this to their siblings.
    via u/Gemzanity
  • 11
    SpecialistFeeling220 It sounds like mom is comfortable selling out her kids for the comfort of the others.
    via u/SpecialistFeeling220
  • 12
    FeuerroteZora Does Mom even know this is happening? Unless she's been told about the issue, she's under the impression that this was all agreed on and is hunky dory, so I wouldn't put the blame on her for sis being an a h le.
    via u/FeuerroteZora
  • 13
    Less_Air_1147 Why should you pay for your aunts, uncles and cousins to eat? You could have split the bill for your mom, that's plenty and she could have paid for her mom.
    via u/Less_Air_1147
  • 14
    Krayt88 Yeah, I would go halves on the mom's meal, probably the grandma's too, but the uncle can pick up his wife and kid's tab. OP shouldn't have to subsidize them, and certainly not have it be a surprise bill.
    via u/Krayt88
  • 15
    Cheezburger Image 10504158976
    via PeopleImages

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 16
    LunecitaSky Completely. What surprises me most is how some people assume that affection is measured by money. Sometimes I feel like there are family members who make unilateral decisions and then make you feel guilty for not playing along.
    via u/LunecitaSky
  • 17
    dogs4life444 Nta pay for yourself and half of your moms if you want to but you never agreed and she doesn't get to decide what you do with your money
    via u/dogs4life444
  • 18
    Alternative-Emu-5955 OP I just told her that I will only pay my part, half of my mom's, and she straight up told me I'm being selfish Would $50 be too low for a $350 bill? I can't do the $175, that's more than my monthly grocery bill (I'm trying not to spend too much on food...)
    via u/Alternative-Emu-5955
  • 19
    catinnameonly No. She doesn't get to dictate what you pay. Don't let her have that kind of power over you. Just because 'she says' doesn't make it true. It was incredibly selfish of her to offer you up like that knowing you don't have that kind of money. That is incredibly narcissistic of her. She wanted to look like the hero at your cost. She can be the hero at her own cost.
    via u/catinnameonly
  • 20
    Wild Ticket1413 NTA. If your sister wanted the two of you to treat the rest of the family to dinner, she should have asked you about it before she invited anyone. It's r de and presumptuous of her to spring that on you at the last minute.
    via u/Wild_Ticket1413
  • 21
    You never agreed to pay for anyone else's meal. You went to dinner under the (logical) assumption that you would be paying for you own food and that's it.
    via u/Wild_Ticket1413
  • 22
    Tazno209 NTA! Do not pay half! I would say to her, I will pay for my meal, and mom's meal. That's it. You made an assumption that I am as financially stable and secure as you are. I am not, and that fact should be plainly obvious to you. In addition, even if I was making the
    via u/Wild_Ticket1413

  • It's called Mother's Day – not uncles, friends, or cousin's day!

  • 23
    kind of money that you make, it would be extremely r de of you to unanimously decide that me, or anyone else, would be paying the bill with you. If you want to look like the generous giver, that's great. But don't expect me or anybody else to go along with you blindly. End of discussion.
    via u/Wild_Ticket1413
  • 24
    llorensm NTA, that should have been discussed with you in advance. But if you don't mind giving a general geographical location, I'm really curious to know where dinner for 11 people is only $350! I guess nobody had drinks? Is that including gratuity?
    via u/llorensm
  • 25
    Alternative-Emu-5955 OP It was an Asian restaurant! I guess their prices are on the lower end? It was 9 dishes for like $25-30+tx each. Plus $50 of tips. Nobody had drinks.
    via u/Alternative-Emu-5955
  • 26
    bakejk NTA Your sister wanted to look like some kind of big shot hero in the eyes of everyone at the table. She can just s k it up and foot the whole bill herself. Never discussing it with you? That's out of line and super pretentious.
    via u/bakejk

Tags

family drama AITAH mother sibling rivalry adulting siblings mothers day relationships parenting love adulthood entitled family sister daughter entitled people
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